{"id":1114,"date":"2024-10-08T17:35:36","date_gmt":"2024-10-08T17:35:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/oluabikoye.com\/blog\/?p=1114"},"modified":"2024-10-09T04:58:52","modified_gmt":"2024-10-09T04:58:52","slug":"surrendering-to-the-power-of-vulnerability","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/oluabikoye.com\/blog\/surrendering-to-the-power-of-vulnerability\/","title":{"rendered":"Surrendering to the Power of Vulnerability"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Surrendering to the Power of Vulnerability<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dear Diary,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

October 8, 2024<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Today, I want to talk about an experiment I\u2019ve been conducting\u2014unintentionally at first, but now with purpose. Somewhere between the chaos of daily life and moments of self-reflection, I began piecing together insights, hoping they\u2019d lead to something meaningful. For months\u2014perhaps years\u2014I\u2019ve been caught between who I thought I was and who I\u2019m slowly becoming. This gradual evolution has been deeply personal, one I now see as a kind of social experiment\u2014a conscious exploration of strength found in the power of vulnerability, which I hope you might find worth trying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Growing up in a tightly knit community, I was surrounded by a culture that valued conformity over individuality, structure over freedom. There were unspoken rules, societal checks and balances that everyone, even as adults, adhered to. Friends, family\u2014even strangers\u2014felt entitled to guide, judge, correct, or applaud you. It was the invisible net that held us in place. Though it could be stifling, it also provided a sense of belonging.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But life has changed. I live in a world where \u201cfreedom\u201d is often mistaken for licence\u2014where bad behaviours are justified under the guise of independence, leaving me disoriented. I\u2019ve seen how quickly people judge me, often long before I have a chance to speak. The ground constantly seems to shift beneath my feet. I laugh it off in my mind, knowing that as a Nigerian, humour is how we cope. But sometimes, those moments cut deeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take the oratory, for example. It\u2019s supposed to be a sanctuary, right? Yet, I\u2019ve sat there feeling the weight of watchful eyes, or seen how some immediately clutch their belongings tighter or deliberately look away, pretending they haven\u2019t seen me. I\u2019ve entered spaces where I\u2019d been invited, only to find metaphorical doors closing in front of me, shutting me out. And then there was the incident at the bus stop. I stood quietly, waiting, as a man glanced at me and sneered, stepping in front as if I were invisible, as if his presence carried more weight than mine. Such moments remind me of the poverty of mind\u2014the hollowness that can reside in those who believe themselves superior, yet are as undesirable as broken vessels.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It stings. But it has also forced me to find resilience within. I realised these moments are both tests of my strength and opportunities to turn inward. This is where the \u201cexperiment\u201d becomes intentional: how do I cultivate strength in the face of vulnerability?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was then I began to understand that true power\u2014the kind that rises with the dawn and remains unbreakable\u2014comes from the willingness to embrace my vulnerability and trust in God completely. It\u2019s a dangerous kind of freedom, one that requires you to release control over the things that aren\u2019t yours to manage and instead, to lean fully on God, knowing that He holds every situation, both within and outside of your control. It\u2019s in this surrender that I found my resilience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This path through my Big Sister led me to the Woman\u2019s Wholeness School, where my coach, Ifeyinwa Okafor, taught me the knowledge and skills to piece together what life had chipped away. I discovered that vulnerability and strength aren\u2019t opposites but allies. Through this process, I became grounded, cultivating a quiet confidence\u2014a deep-seated belief that I am, if I dare say so, the best thing since sliced bread.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even now, I live in a reality that often feels harsh and unforgiving. But there\u2019s beauty here, too. Despite everything, I\u2019m learning to love myself fiercely. I\u2019m discovering the miracle of self-compassion\u2014the slow, sometimes painful process of nurturing oneself. It\u2019s like cultivating a garden in a desert: challenging, but ultimately beautiful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As I lean into self-compassion, I\u2019ve noticed how people around me react. Some say, \u201cOlu, you\u2019ve changed,\u201d as if remaining the same was ever an option for growth. Others tell me, \u201cYou seem unbothered.\u201d And they\u2019re right\u2014I will never worry about a situation that God has already taken over for me. Speaking up when it matters most, regardless of how vulnerable it makes me appear, has been the most humbling, eye-opening, and rewarding experience of this season. This vulnerability has become my strength, showing me that true courage lies in showing up as I am.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This experiment\u2014this journey\u2014has taught me a kind of resilience that doesn\u2019t rely on validation from others. It\u2019s also given me the courage to create new boundaries, let go of people when necessary, and understand the seasons of friendships. I\u2019ve come to appreciate who my true friends are, sometimes choosing to treat others as they\u2019ve treated me\u2014not out of vengeance, but as a kindness to myself. I\u2019ve even learned the art of looking away when necessary, yielding to protect my peace.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you choose to love yourself deeply, you transform not just your inner world but also the way you interact with the outer one. Love your neighbour as yourself<\/em>, right? The impact may begin within, but it inevitably extends outward, in ways you may never have anticipated. The true miracle of self-love lies in our ability to embrace vulnerability with open arms. By trusting God to hold every situation, we cultivate a love that steadies us like an anchor keeps a ship steady during storms. This love guides us through an unkind world with a strength that is both powerful and gentle, resilient and indulgent. This journey isn\u2019t just about finding peace; it\u2019s about discovering the beauty that unfolds when we dare to be our most authentic selves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s to the remainder of the week of embracing vulnerability, cultivating self-love, and experiencing the unexpected miracles that follow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sincerely,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

PS: You want to know more about my Coach – Ifeyinwa Okafor, you can find her here https:\/\/ifyokafor.com\/<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For other posts, follow this link; The Unrepentant Kissers<\/strong> – https:\/\/oluabikoye.com\/blog\/the-unrepentant-kissers\/<\/a> Angels on Duty: Happy Angels Season<\/strong> – https:\/\/oluabikoye.com\/blog\/angels-on-duty-happy-angel-season\/<\/a> Salty Surprise!<\/strong> – https:\/\/oluabikoye.com\/blog\/salty-surprise\/<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In a world often unkind, surrendering to vulnerability becomes the true miracle of self-compassion, offering both peace and resilience.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1114","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dear-diary"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/oluabikoye.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1114","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/oluabikoye.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/oluabikoye.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/oluabikoye.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/oluabikoye.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1114"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/oluabikoye.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1114\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1127,"href":"https:\/\/oluabikoye.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1114\/revisions\/1127"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/oluabikoye.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1114"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/oluabikoye.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1114"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/oluabikoye.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1114"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}